The Barbarian (The Herod Chronicles Book 2) Read online

  "Nakht owned the copper mine, and was my master, and an evil snake of a man."

  "You suffered terribly there, didn't you?"

  The hole of loneliness at his center expanded to become a crater. "The backbreaking labor, meager food, and filthy conditions were as bad as you might imagine. It would have worn me into the ground eventually, as it did everyone else. But I was singled out by Nakht for special treatment." Kadar's muscles bunched. "Nakht didn't buy me to work me to death, he bought me to be his champion in the fight-to-the-death matches he arranged. I slept in Nakht's home, shared his food, wine, and women…and I hated every moment."

  Lydia hugged him. "Don't blame yourself. You did what you had to survive."

  "Death would have been less painful. At first I refused to play Nakht's foul game. I refused the food, wine, and the women. So Nakht killed or tortured those I was friendly with. I stopped talking to others, and Nakht threatened to skin alive a young slave girl to gain my cooperation. I gave in and killed and drank and whored until I stank with it. But Nakht was worse than a jealous woman. He maimed a slave woman I made the mistake of staring at too long, and cut the throat of a servant pouring my wine after I nodded my thanks, and—"

  Lydia's soft whimper stopped him. He kissed the top of her head. "Forgive me. I didn't mean to go on like that." It was the first time he'd uttered a word of this to anyone. "I don't know how else to make you understand. Those years taught me what it meant to be alone until it ran through my veins like blood and became the marrow filling my bones. I don't just think I'm meant to be alone. I know it."

  Any lingering doubts he'd had vanished with Lydia. He loved her. No, he didn't just love her, his heart ached with longing for her. Yet he must give her to another man. Hama would hold Lydia in the night, not Kadar. Hama would plant his seed and his children in Lydia's womb, not Kadar. Hama would hear Lydia's beautiful laugh and look into her lovely brown eyes, not Kadar. Thoughts destined to haunt him for the rest of his life. What more proof did he need? The gods couldn't have made the message more plain if they'd risen from their thrones and spoken directly into his ear.

  Lydia pulled away from him. "I'm glad you killed Nakht."

  "I thought avenging the evil done in my name and spilling Nakht's blood would give me peace." He touched his finger to Lydia's face and traced her delicate jaw. "Knowing you will be happy and well cared for means even more to me. Nothing is more important."

  Lydia's lower lip quivered. "I don't want you to go away."

  "I'll stay until you are married to Hama."

  "Physician Hama seems very kind, but...I wish I was marrying—"

  Kadar surged to his feet, making Lydia yelp. Some confessions were better left unspoken. He set her down and pointed a warning finger. "You need to be more guarded. You need to stay far, far away from me. No more sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night. I brought you to a whore's den to open your eyes and to scare some sense into you. Morta didn't start out to be a harlot. One or two false steps, and you could fall as far as Morta. Please don't let it happen. Promise me you will be more careful."

  Lydia swatted his hand aside, surprising a laugh out of him. She held up her finger. "One kiss. I want to share one more kiss with you."

  His gut tightened. "One kiss, and then we can never meet alone again. Do you agree?"

  She bit the corner of her rosy lip and stared at him for a long moment. "I agree."

  His blood flowed hot as melted gold. No good could come of this. But he couldn't resist. He held out his arms. "Come here."

  She shook her head. "Come to me, warrior."

  Instantly aroused, he caught her hands and shackled them behind her back. When their lips were almost touching, her warm breath sent a tremor down his spine. "You slay me, woman. You truly do."

  Her mouth curved up. "Stop talking and kiss me."

  The torturous weight of his bleak past and stark future fell away. Thundering Thor, she was perfect, absolutely perfect!

  ***

  Hands trapped behind her back, Lydia slid her mouth over Kadar's lips and nibbled on the soft, bare skin behind his ear.

  He sucked in his breath. "You said one kiss."

  "Release my hands first."

  His husky laughed vibrated through her. "Not on your life."

  She flicked her tongue in his ear, and nipped his earlobe. "Mmm...I could do this all night."

  He laughed.

  Lydia pulled back and concentrated on Kadar's grin. She wanted to cry her heart out for all he'd suffered, but it was a selfish indulgence she refused to give in to. Instead, she batted her lashes. "I will feast on your neck next," she purred.

  His smile widened, and he freed her wrists and cupped her bottom. "I'll make you pay, woman." His fingers dug and kneaded. She ran her hands over thick, powerful shoulders, pulsing with restrained strength. He could easily hurt her, but there was nothing brutish about him.

  Her heart sang with joy for this man, and ached. She hated the thought of him spending the rest of his life alone, but feared he would. He believed loneliness was his lot in life. She'd seen it in his eyes. A few moments of argument wouldn't put a hole in his conviction. And their time together was quickly running out.

  Her false smile fell away. "I don't want you to leave."

  He sobered. "And I don't want to go, my valkyrie. But we both know I must. Now kiss me," he demanded.

  She stared in to his light blue eyes and laced her fingers through his golden-blond hair. Their hot breaths mingled and she moved her mouth over his. Tongues and lips slipped and slid together. His shoulder-length hair brushed over her collarbone, sending waves of pleasure to her core. Unused to the touch of a generous lover, she kept waiting for him to turn greedy, but he gave and gave. His sandalwood scent saturated her pores and Kadar’s physicality filled all her senses.

  He broke away first, and their panting breaths echoed off the crumbling plaster walls. They clung to each other for a long, long time, neither willing to let go of the moment. Tonight was the end for them. This would be the last time she could touch him and he could touch her.

  Tempted to beg him to stay, or beg him to take her with him, or beg him to hold her forever, she already grieved the loss him.

  He thumbed away the tears rolling down her cheeks. "You will be in my heart wherever I go."

  "I will never forget you," she promised, and squeezed her eyes shut. Now all she had to do was teach her heart to accept what couldn't be changed.

  CHAPTER 18

  The next morning Lydia took away the bowl of broth her brother had barely touched and set it on a tray next to James's bed. "May I get anything else for you?"

  James's lips pursed. "I'll take more wine. Then I can pretend my head aches because I drank too much, a malady I'd have hope of recovering from in mere hours."

  Lydia reached for the wine pitcher. "The fall from the sedan chair couldn't have helped." The dark red splotch on James's cheekbone was new, thanks to an ill-advised outing to the Temple.

  "I'm told the sound of my face smacking against the paving stones could be heard all the way to the Mount of Olives."

  "I'm glad you weren't hurt more seriously." She poured a generous portion of wine into James's cup, and reached for the water pitcher.

  "I'll take the wine straight," James said.

  She frowned. "I wish you'd treat your body more kindly."

  "You sound like Alexandra. One sister fussing over me is enough. You are supposed to make me laugh or tell me a story to help me forget my troubles."

  Stifling a sigh, she handed over the silver goblet. "I'm sorry. I didn't sleep well." Kadar had delivered her back to cousin Nehonya's a few hours before dawn. She had lain in bed and cried until she couldn't cry anymore, then slept fitfully for a bit before making her way blindly to James's bedside. "I received a letter from Father," she choked out. "He is on his way here. Cousin Nehonya expects him to arrive within the week. You know about Father's plan to marry me to a man from Parthia?"
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br />   James's nose curled. "I received a letter as well, and I'm happy to help thwart whatever nefarious plot he has dreamed up now."

  It saddened her to know her brother always referred to Father as he or him. "Do you have any idea what Father is up to or what he hopes to gain?"

  "I'd bet my inheritance he is still scheming to be named High Priest." James tapped the raised, red scar on his face. "And we both know he doesn't care how many lives he destroys to get what he wants." James's solemn eyes met hers. "You have suffered far too much as a tool of his ambition. My hope is you will be as happy in your next marriage as Alexandra is with hers. Does the thought of marrying Physician Hama please you?"

  Grateful and touched by her brother's concern and thoughtfulness, yet still heavy of heart over parting with Kadar, Lydia managed a small nod. "Your support and help mean the world to me."

  James wagged his brows. "Your barbarian wanted to kill…him, but Hama wouldn't hear of it."

  She winced. "He's not my barbarian."

  "I hope you don't plan to sneak out of Cousin Nehonya's house again to meet him in secret."

  Her face heated. "What...I don't...that is—"

  James rolled his eyes. "Don't fret. I won't tell anyone."

  Unnerved, she glanced repeatedly over her shoulder. "How did you know? Who told you?"

  "You knew about the talk I had with Hama and Kadar, and only your future husband or the barbarian could have told you. I hope nothing untoward happened. Hama wouldn't be pleased."

  "What wouldn't please me?" Physician Hama asked entering the bedchamber.

  Lydia's heart skipped a beat. Aware she still smelled of sandalwood, with her lips still burning from Kadar's kisses, she'd have preferred to put off this awkward meeting until she was steadier.

  "Ah, my favorite physician," James lifted his cup in greeting. "Lydia insists on remaining by my side all day. I was telling her you wouldn't be pleased." Her brother didn't bat an eyelash at the lie. "You ordered me to rest. Isn't that so? I have a perfect solution. In light of your happy prospects, you two should stop pestering me and take a long walk so you may become better acquainted."

  Lydia wanted to swipe the smirk off her brother's face and see him dropped in donkey dung.

  Physician Hama came closer. "You can start by resting your over-busy mouth," he said mildly.

  James pretended to be indignant. "I was just trying to be helpful."

  Physician Hama grunted. "Helpful? Maybe I should mix you up one of my special remedies."

  "No, not that," James howled.

  Lydia covered her smile.

  "Did you have a happier Pesach celebration than your brother?" Physician Hama asked.

  Lydia forced her chin up and met Physician Hama's calm brown eyes. He was a man in the prime of life, with a fine face and figure; she knew she should be rejoicing over her prospects. "The day brought many joys."

  Physician Hama smiled.

  Embarrassed because her thoughts were not of the proposed marriage but of little James and Kadar wrapping their warm arms about her, she looked down and dug at her tunic with her fingernail. "Did you spend the day with family?"

  Physician Hama exhaled heavily. "No, Cypros was in a terrible state. I attended her and administered medicine, but nothing helped. Her grief has turned into anger. She is pressuring her sons to find and punish her husband's murderer."

  Lydia had heard little about Antipater's widow, except for her reputation as a difficult woman. "Thank you for taking time to check on James."

  James sat forward. "Have Malichus and Lazarz been apprehended yet?"

  The physician shook his head. "Malichus denies the charges and continues to shed copious tears over Antipater's demise. And Lazarz has disappeared without a trace."

  James lay back against his pillow. "So I still have to worry Lazarz might show up at my bedside in the middle of the night and slit my throat."

  "I imagine Lazarz has fled and won't be heard from again," Physician Hama said.

  Lydia rose to her knees and fussed with James's blanket. She'd heard Cousin Nehonya and Gabriel discussing the poisoning and palace intrigue. It made her frightened for her brother. "It's too dangerous here. I'm sure Cousin Nehonya will take you in."

  "I'm not a stray puppy in need of rescuing," James replied sourly. "You are the one putting yourself in danger. You should go back to our cousin's home and stay there until the dust settles. Tell her, Hama."

  Physician Hama looked down his nose at James. "You look more like a wet cat than a stray puppy to me. Now, if your sister would be so good as to move aside, I will take a closer look at your injuries."

  Lydia scooted to the foot of the bed.

  Physician Hama placed his reed basket of ointments, herbs, and small jars of liquid cures onto the marble-topped bedside table, then leaned over the bed and inspected her brother's head. "Antipater's death has placed this entire household at risk. It's best if everyone behaves with extra caution." He glanced over at her.

  She squirmed. Physician Hama's word would soon be law for her. He already saw himself as her protector. Though he meant well, she prayed he wouldn't tell her to go back to Cousin Nehonya's, because she'd have to obey or risk appearing headstrong and unruly.

  Physician Hama turned his attention back to her brother. "Herod has doubled the guard, and he has eyes and ears everywhere, ready to report any trouble."

  James pulled his blankets higher. "Herod has many talents. He appreciates well-built buildings and women."

  Physician Hama dabbed clear cream onto James's newest wound. "Watch your mouth in your sister's presence."

  "Go poke someone else," James said, swatting the physician's hand away.

  Physician Hama sat back on his heels. "With your permission, I'll take your sister for a walk about the gardens and allow you to sleep. I doubt it will improve your disposition, but it can't make it worse."

  Misery shone in James's eyes. "Thank heaven. Some peace and quiet at last."

  Lydia ached for her brother. She realized his prickliness came from years of fending off barbed criticism from a father who never found anything good to say about his children. "Don't get used to it," she said sternly. "I plan to take my dinner with you and make you listen to one of the stories I learned during my stay in Egypt."

  James smoothed the bedcovers. "Come back if you like. And bring along someone who will make better company than me. Perhaps Cousin Elizabeth. I imagine she would be glad for an excuse to get out of the house."

  Lydia blinked repeatedly. "Cousin Elizabeth?" The faint blush spreading across her brother's face told her he hadn't picked the name out of the air at random. "I'll ask but—" She searched for a nice way to say Elizabeth detested him.

  "Forget I said anything." James sank down lower. "Go have your walk with Hama."

  Physician Hama gathered up his basket. The collection of jars and vials clinked and rattled as he retreated to the door.

  Lydia's limbs felt rooted in place. She squeezed her brother's hand, slowly climbed to her feet, and made her way to the man who would soon be her husband.

  Physician Hama led her through a series of shiny-floored corridors, and showed himself to be incredibly kind by carrying on a one-sided conversation about the obsession the previous owners of the house had with menorahs. The seven-branched candelabrums were everywhere, in images painted on the walls, and inlaid on tile mosaic floors, and cast in gold or silver in custom-made niches.

  The thought of a future without Kadar opened a dark pit in Lydia, one a thousand burning lamps couldn't dispel.

  They exited a side door, emerging into a flower-filled courtyard. The sky overhead was blue as Kadar's eyes, but the bright rays of the sun spilling into the walled garden failed to warm her. She came to a halt beside a clutch of purple and white blooms. She forced her eyes to Hama's. "Forgive my directness, but why...why do you want to marry me?"

  "Don't apologize. I admire your forthrightness, and I will be equally open. I have two boys." The life we
nt out of his eyes. "I lost my wife. My sons need a mother."

  "I didn't know. I'm honored by your offer, Physician Hama."

  "Call me Avda."

  "Avda," she said softly, the first step toward greater intimacies waiting over the horizon. A chill went through her. "But why me? Jerusalem abounds with young, fruitful women. I may not be able to give you more children."

  Avda stared into the distance. "I hope it is so, and I will pray fervently you never conceive. My youngest is four, and his mother died giving birth to him." His voice turned forlorn. "I loved Mary. She was my whole life. The truth is, I'm a coward. I don't want to go through such pain again."

  Lydia's heart opened a bit. They shared a common bond. They both were familiar with loss. Perhaps, over time, the comfort they gave one another would grow into something deeper and richer. "Tell me about your sons."

  His smile reached his eyes. "They are boisterous and noisy and busy and perfect."

  "I predict we will get along wonderfully."

  "Did your brother tell you I plan to take you to Galilee?"

  "I hardly dared to believe it." She twisted her hands together. "Your kindness is overwhelming."

  "I'm not a saint. I have my own selfish reasons for wanting to leave Jerusalem."

  "You sound worried."

  "Antipater's death means years of woe for Judea. I want better for my family. Plus, I'd like to use my skills to benefit the poor. I've had my fill of pampered fools complaining of sore stomachs and headaches brought on by an excess of self-pity or self-indulgence."

  She smiled. "You've done nothing to convince me you aren't a good, good man."

  He ducked his head. "All I ask for is a joyful, peaceful household to come home to." He turned hopeful eyes to her. "Do you believe you could be happy living with me and my sons? Do you want to marry me?"

  "I...I..." She should accept the proposal and count herself abundantly blessed. She cleared her throat. "Of course. What objections could I have?"

  "Marriage contracts are drawn up between men, but a man and a woman must live with the marriage. I don't want to force you into something you don't want."